Headed to chicago

My *too early to think* reaction to staying at a rest stop


What follows.

I have never been treated like a criminal. That is until today, the day after 4/20.

Considering you are a sane law abiding citizen, when you see a cop, you are going to slow down and give them the righter way.

That is the premise of my little encounter with the policeman. I see the cop pull onto the highway from his little nook. Just like the inevitable reaction of a chemical reaction, I slow down and pull to the right lane, weary of course that he is coming after me for a speeding ticket.

Act natural. I think.

The cop pulls up and starts passing me as I sit behind a semi truck waiting for him. Instead of going on his way he sits in my blind spot, lingering. So I linger, getting closer to the semi as I am expecting to change lanes soon enough. Instead he stays there for a couple seconds,  flips on his lights, and gets behind my vehicle.

Confused I pull over and lower the volume of my soon to be muted Run River North c.d.

He proceeds to tell me I was riding too close to the semi a “1.04 second gap.” As Im hearing  this, I’m thinking. “The whole damn reason I got so close is because the truck slowed down seeing a cop and I slowed down and we are literally waiting for you to get on your way.” I go with it, he tells me it’s just a heads up and will just issue a warning. 

He then tells me to go to his SUV (which I have never heard of or seen happen before, but go with it anyways) I sit in shot gun while he issues a warning and we small talk the whole time. I’m strictly concentrated on not saying anything stupid and being attentive to what he has to say. He eventually shakes my hand and gives me my license and insurance. I leave, and on my way to my vehicle he gets out of his car and says “I can’t help noticing you are incredibly nervous” *lists off symptoms of people who are nervous* and then asks “would you happen to be carrying any weaponry? Any methamphetamine? heroin? crack cocaine? Marijuana?”

He’s being serious.

I say “No” to all those things and he asks to search my car.

“Go ahead.”

He proceeds to pat me down and take my car apart- HE EVEN GETS HIS STETHOSCOPE to listen to my freaking spear tire to “check the density” to make sure I’m not smuggling drugs.

No exaggeration, he goes from the back of the car to the engine compartment to check for drugs. Checking every crack, lying on the ground to look under things, all while wearing these black gloves that he put on just for the inspection.

Eventually he sees that I am not a drug dealer. or deliverer, or part of any drug ring and sends me on my way.

After I drive away I couldn’t help but think he stereotyped me and used the “being to close to the semi” thing as an excuse to pull me over in the first place.

I guess it didn’t help that my license plate is from Colorado.

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